I Ask My Students to Remember and I Am Still Writing Long After They Have Left the Room

I Ask My Students to Remember and I Am Still Writing Long After They Have Left the Room

I remember being surprised when the saw
came up to meet my face,
by the log truck in my lane,
by the sound of a storm cloud cracking open,
how the rain stripped the roses from the vine.

I remember screaming when I saw my own blood,
when the truck wouldn’t swerve from my lane,
when I realized part of me was dead
and part of me alive, when I was overwhelmed
I screamed, and I screamed when I panicked,
and once I screamed for joy.

I remember the smell of ozone after the lightning strike,
the faint whiff of skunk on the wind,
the landfill in the distance. Then the smell
of orange blossoms filled up the valley. When
I came in from the snow, the smell of
peach pies on the stove.

I remember the first time after that time
I was afraid of the dark
and it occurred to me
there might not be a God,
that the soul and the breath and the moment
might be all I got this first time,
this only time.

I remember dreaming my father was alive,
that I could fly, that I still
lived in the big house on the hill.
I dreamed the silver fox, the golden dog,
and I dreamed the yellow spider on my sleeve.


–Sandy Jensen

One thought on “I Ask My Students to Remember and I Am Still Writing Long After They Have Left the Room”

  1. I like this one a lot. Dark, yes, but anyone with a golden spider on their sleeve cannot be entirely on the dark side.
    I no longer argue with myself about God. I figure that no matter what I come up with, I will be wrong. It is all so amazingly complex- the Universe. George Burns in Oh God said: “God is exactly what we think she is, no more and no less.” Not a bad explanation. But really, how arrogant to think that we can comprehend how strange and wonderful it all is. I now refuse to engage in thinking, is there a God, isn’t there a God. I am willing to bet that God does not look anything like any of our ideas and I am willing to bet that there is no such thing as dead life (quote George Emery.)Therefore, since I am life the odds are good – I’ll bet we will be sorting this our in the next life, and the next. I am happier thinking so.
    Cheryl

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