Friday, February 1, 2008. Late night drawing-colored pencil. I am still on the market for gel pens which will provide more contrast. I have painted a lot this week. I am starting to log in long hours at the easel on consecutive days.This is my first ever opportunity to do that and certain things are becoming apparent.
I do not paint alone. I seems to me that I have many, many supportive helpers and I do not know exactly who they are. Sometimes I think a specific famous painter – I hear a wry comment from Kahlo in my head. But more often I sense entities that certainly help me and oddly enough, I think that sometimes I help them.
I do not have elaborate theories about who these people are. The more I read about science, the more I realize that the idea that man is the only intelligent entity in the universe is almost certainly as ridiculous as the idea that the earth is the center of the solar system. As ridiculous as the idea that men are somehow closer to God than women. As ridiculous as the tragic and mistaken idea that man should have dominion over the earth.
It seems almost certain to me that there are many forms of life and I hope to the Goddess that they area more intelligent than we are. I am beginning to be suspicious that parallel realities are abundant and that none of this is even slightly woo woo. I am reasonably sure that science is a long way from nailing down the answers to most of the really big questions. I feel that it would be dishonest of me and a waste of time to develop a strong belief system. I guess I do not put a lot of stock in belief systems. In the meantime, I have allies in unusual places and my life seems to be working better because of their welcome presence in my life. And no, I do not hear voices and they do not tell me to do anything more threatening than “more thalo blue please.”
January 28- The Brown Children sledding. The drawing is quite wonderful – I looked at it a long time and I couldn’t figure out the technique. I will study it closely when I see it. I wondered if this image was difficult in some way. Is this a bad memory? Or is it once again that there is no real here and now. Is this a Shamanic tunnel back to the past- a fast train. It looks scary to me. Horse Lake Road was pretty steep and there were places where you sure didn’t want to lose it on a sled (or a car for that matter.) This is a very strong image.
The image of the Brown children sledding wasn’t supposed to be scary; in fact, I thought it was going to be innocuous and uninteresting. The focal point was “supposed” to be children sledding. However, a shamanic tunnel to the future (from the past of the memory, it would be to the future; from the present back to then would be a tunnel to the past–which “me” is in the picture?) appeared of its own accord where Horse Lake Road, the bus turnaround, and the creek all met at the mailboxes. What this tells me is that there was always a vortex of energy there that we were recording with our “other eyes.” I was certainly startled and amazed to see it appear of its own accord.
Gel pen and Prismacolor.